When you belong to a narcissistic dysfunctional family and have no way to escape it for the time being or so then you can think of alternate ways to combat the abuse and dysfunctionality that you cannot otherwise.
Here are a few things that can give you temporary happiness and relief to some extend:-
- A Separate Room for yourself. Dysfunctional people do not understand other people's boundaries. Even when they any of it they do not bother to respect it. Having a space of your own with some security can relieve you of some bullying and unnecessary gaslighting. You can have your belongings safe to some extent and you will not be blamed for their damage and loss that actually narc does. You can have healing tools that are not possible to have with narc's access to your place. You can sleep well during the day as well as at night if not every day then at least on some days. You can have coping resources and me time which can help reduce the effect of abuse. You can work for your job without any unnecessary disturbance. You can have sanity. You will feel physically safe.
- A Separate room for an abusive family member. Abusive people are sometimes lousy and controlling also. Having a separate room where they and their belongings are confined can bring some relief to the rest of the family members. The rest of the family will not be blamed for their damaged and misplaced belongings and they could be held accountable for their actions. The rest of the family can have some space for bonding and safe interaction, if not always then at least sometimes. There will be less interference and control of the abuser in relationships between other family members. The abuser can get time and space for enriching their life if they get some motivation from somewhere. Co-parenting will be less stressful.
- Savings. You need to have some savings if your or your kids' life or sanity is in danger. With some savings, you can think of an escape when there is a threat to life.
- Lawyer. If you ever need the help of the judicial system to have a life safe from any dangerous or harmful act of the abuser you will need a lawyer which is possible only with money.
- Therapy and Medical Help. It is not possible to stay completely healthy(physiologically, psychologically, spiritually, and emotionally while still being with an abuser and even after that. In order to survive with them and to thrive afterward, you will need to spend money on therapy and other medical treatments.
- Good Education for kids. Though everyone dreams to get the best education for their kids, in functional families, this responsibility is shared by both parents however for a narc abuse victim family it's mainly the responsibility and concern of the abused parent especially after separation if it happens. Kids face traumatic events at home which causes stress disorders and other mental health problems. A good school guarantees a healthy and safe environment up to some instant and doesn't add up to trauma in kids' life unlike the not-so-good schools with not-so-good and qualified teachers who lack empathy and general skills of dealing with kids. Kids from such families are often late to school, have incomplete work, and are absent from class a lot due to low-efficiency parenting at home. One parent is busy overcontrolling and abusing the rest of the family whereas the abused parent is busy with coping with the abusive atmosphere.