1 Mar 2021

Is ‎It ‎Better ‎To ‎Be ‎Single ‎Or ‎In ‎A ‎Relationship ‎With ‎A ‎Narcissist? ‏- ‏A ‎comparative ‎analysis ‎. ‏



This blog does not advocate divorce or separation because this is totally someone’s personal opinion and should be based on careful analysis of the situation with the concern of bused partner under the guidance of a licensed therapist.


This blog stresses codependent trauma survivors who have a negative relationship and coping patterns deeply embedded in their consciousness. I wish to help these survivors understand how it’s not important to have an intimate partner before you have completely healed from past traumas and are able to carry a healthy relationship with clear boundaries

Here is a comparison meant to help such people analyze and decide for themselves how staying single for some time is really important in the journey of healing and regaining self-worth so that you can be really prepared for a great relationship.


Comparison of drawbacks of being single and being with an abusive partner.


CAREER

Being Single: You don’t have an intimate partner to motivate you and celebrate your achievements.

Being with an Abusive Partner: You sleep with someone who does everything to demotivate you and self-doubt you on every step of your career and is extremely jealous of you and makes you feel guilty of your shortcomings as a partner, parent, and homemaker who are there( according to their perception) because of the time you give to your work.


PARENTING

Being Single: Your child has only one parent and half of the love they deserve. Also sometimes they miss the presence of a parent during their important occasions when you can’t make it due to you other serious engagements at work etc.

Being with an Abusive Partner: Your child may get abused by an abusive parent. Your child may develop PTSD due to witnessing domestic violence. You may act abusively due to the stress from the abuse you get from the relationship(displaced anger). They will have two parents, one is abusive, and the other has depression and anxiety. They may have two emotionally absent parents.


HEALTH

Being Single: You won’t have a partner to care for physically for you or do errands when you fall sick.

Being with an Abusive Partner: You won’t be allowed to take a rest. You will be made to feel guilty and ashamed for your reduced ability to take care of chores and cater to your partner’s personal needs.  If you react to their abuse, your illness and hormones will be blamed for your reactions. You might be mocked or ashamed for your reduced physical abilities and helplessness due to illness.


SLEEP

Being Single: Sometimes you won’t be able to get proper sleep due to handling the responsibilities of the absent parent and a partner.

Being with an Abusive Partner: He may wake you up every night for no reason or for invalid reasons. You cannot decide your bedtime and wake-up time if you share a bedroom. You may be an insomniac due to stress from abuse and other affected areas of life due to dysfunctionalities arising from his/her presence. You may never be able to sleep during the day because he will never respect physical boundaries.


CHORES

Being Single: You will have to do all the chores by yourself except for the little help you get from kids.

Being with an Abusive Partner: You will have to do all chores by yourself. Kids may help but they will also learn your partner’s lazy behavior and may be affected. You will have to do extra chores, his/her share of personal work plus the mess that he/she creates around the house. You might feel obliged to do some more extra unnecessary chores that he might make you feel important to be done by gaslighting you when you work for your job or try to take rest, for example, he may make you feel ashamed for keeping the house untidy unorganized which is normal with little kids around or ashaming you for unkempt looks which is normal in abusive households because of mental health issues, physical and mental stress, and excessive workload. So to please the partner you may put extra efforts to avoid such criticisms.


SOCIAL LIFE

Being Single: You will have less time for social life

Being with an Abusive Partner: If your partner is a narcissist or has another such personality disorder you will have no social life. You won’t be allowed to befriend someone they don’t approve of and those they approve of will turn into flying monkeys very soon. If your abusive partner feels threatened in any way your common friends will be brainwashed against you into hating you. You will be surrounded by people who will have a distorted image of you created by your abuser in order to validate his/her abuse and invalidate your experiences. You will not just be the loneliest person even during social gatherings but also you will feel like being surrounded by haters. 

 

So, these were the most important area of life which get affected when either we are single or with an abusive partner. The above analysis can help you get an insight into your situation and decide what is best for you and your kids.

 

Please write in comment sections about what are the other areas of life that you wish to be analyzed from this perspective.

 

Also, share your own experiences in relation to this analysis.

 

Please fill this survey form https://forms.gle/bvKFE4XpaHUy7HFu7 and help me write a self-help book for restoring spiritual/religious faith in Battered Women.

Connect with me on Facebook for more such blogs  and memes

https://www.facebook.com/Familydysfunctionandmentalhealth

17 Subtle Signs A Woman Is Romantically Interested In Your Partner.

8 Things Narcissists Do To Control Your Social Life.

 No, You Are Not Crazy! You Are Being Gaslighted.

14 Reasons Why Women Don't "Just Leave" Abusive relationships?

14 Signs Your Partner Is Controlling.

17 Signs Of A Controlling Manipulative Friend?

Why Does He Do That? What’s wrong with abusive men?

Do this to control your anger towards your kids.

Difference between Fear and Anxiety.

This Could Be The Reason Why Your Soul Is Exhausted.

Panic Attack: Simplified for the layman.

This is why people love your abuser while they hate you!

 32 Simple Reasons Why Someone is Not Texting You Back.

Holy Narcissists: 14 Reasons why narcissists hide in religious communities.

 Why Having A Baby Won't Fix Your Marriage.

20 Things Narcissists Say When They Are Gaslighting You.

 This will happen if you idealize your abusive parents.

What Is Love, and What Isn't?

 Trauma bonding : How your brain fools you into thinking that you are in love.

9 tips for surviving this valentine's without love from outside.

14 Ways to Find Out if Someone Has a Crush on You!

18 Things to do if you want to raise mentally and physically strong kids.

6 Tips for detoxing sibling bonds in dysfunctional families.

5 Things parents do to empower their daughters that actually harm them.

Shocking reasons why nobody respects you and 18 steps to fix it!

10 Steps to save your child from abuse at school. 

4 Tips For Protecting Your Child from Abuse at Day Care.

Forgiveness- What It Is, What It's Not!

16 Tips For Setting Boundaries with Adult Children.

"Burn Book" for EMOTIONAL AWARENESS.

Is ‎It ‎Better ‎To ‎Be ‎Single ‎Or ‎In ‎A ‎Relationship ‎With ‎A ‎Narcissist? ‏- ‏A ‎comparative ‎analysis ‎. ‏

20 Signs Someone Actually, Genuinely likes you.

13 Warning Signs of A Spiritual Narcissist and How To Deal With Them.

What Exactly is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

13 Warning Signs Your Husband is Abusive & Outright Dangerous.

Should you stay friends with an ex?

The Narcissistic Family Tree

This Is Why Some People Cannot Help Being Sad And Miserable : If You Had Controlling Parents

10 Signs You Have a Lousy Spouse!

16 Tips for Dealing with your Toxic Parents

Protecting Children From Sexual Abuse| When You Are A Stay At Home Parent.

How To NOT Preach A Family With Domestic Violence Issues ?| A Word For Preachers and Clergy Men!

Why Is Spirituality Important?

What does Depression Looks like?

18 Tips For Happy, Anxiety Free And Peaceful Life Amidst The Covid Crisis.

14 Keys for Narcissists to Change Toward the Higher Self

Why You Might Feel Like the Most Emotional And Sensitive Person 

When Mothers Day Hurts : Dysfunctional Families

10 Ways In Which A Narcissist Makes You Regret Having A Conversation With Them.

10 Reasons Why You Cannot Heal While Still Being With A Narcissist. 

Words Of Assurance For New Moms In Narcissistic Dysfunctional Nuclear Families.

Co-parenting With A Narcissist

Happiness Only Money Can Buy For Narc Abuse Victims

How to survive love bombing?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Featured Posts

How Psychopaths Choose Their Victims AND HOW TO SAVE YOURSELF FROM THEM?

Ted Bundy, one of the most well-known female serial killers, claimed in one of the interviews that he could tell who would make a suitable v...