21 Mar 2021

10 Signs You Have a Lousy Spouse!


1. Tired and sleepy: A lousy spouse will always find an excuse to lie down and get comfy. They can sleep in several shifts on a day off and will still be tired at the end of the day. Actually, they are not tired but lazy at the core.

2. Liar: They are experts in lying. We all require to lie sometimes to save ourselves from distress or other losses. But a lousy spouse will lie effortlessly for no apparent reason. They lie by default whenever they talk and some rarely speak the truth. And when they speaking the truth, the truth is half, like with omitted details or twisted to serve their purpose of making a good social image or getting the advantage of the situation. They don't hesitate in damaging the social image of their family members or friends to achieve the smallest things like a five minutes extra rest or a nap before appearing for an important meeting. Very effortlessly they can blame the family for their late arrival at a social get together thus ruining the image of family and escaping the responsibility at the same time. If they are not in the mood of spending money or energy or both on a medical appointment for a family member, they may say that doctor is on leave today.

3. Pending works: A lousy spouse will always have a long list of pending works. Kids' vaccination, doctor's appointments, electrical and other repairing works, credit card bills, other payments, pending gifts, vehicle servicing, and the list goes on for the things that remain pending in their household because they are too lazy to find time for all this and their spouse is always busy cleaning the mess they create around the house. They will be rarely free or energetic enough for family responsibilities.

4. A bad listener: Lousy spouses are really bad listeners as they don't respond easily when called upon. Even if they respond they will not be fully attentive when you start talking. In the middle of a conversation, they may walk out of the room, or they mat start instructing kids about something on significant, wave to someone else, start humming a song, check text msgs, start flipping pages of a book and sometimes may dial a number and start talking to someone else. They pretend to be lost in thoughts in the middle of a conversation. They can abruptly start talking about a totally new and irrelevant topic and the words spoken will be such that as if that was the actual topic of conversation.

5. Unhealthy competition: Lousy spouses never feel confident enough about themselves hence they spend a lot of energy worrying about their spouse's achievements, no matter how small it is like getting a compliment at a social get-together or a bigger one like job promotions of their spouse. It's almost impossible to make them feel secure and confident. 

6. Unorganized and careless: They are highly unorganized. Nothing will be in place. They will not only lose their things daily but will also carelessly misplace the belongings of other people. They burrow things but never return. Expensive gadgets will get damaged as soon as they come out of the box, all clothes will be stained, imp documents will keep disappearing and they won't hesitate in doing constant expenditure on getting a duplicate copy of everything ranging from birth certificate to car keys. They won't spend energy on finding things but rather buy a new one. 

7. Hazards everywhere: There will be hazards everywhere in the house like dangerous open sockets, live protruding wires, iron plugged on, expensive and hazardous things like medicines, sharp objects, etc in the reach of kids because they are too lazy to put things back after use. Nothing above their comfort. A family of such a person suffers a lot. 

8.Spendthrift: They have no idea how to manage their expenses. No matter how much they earn, it will never be enough for a decent lifestyle. They never care to have a thing called "savings". This thing doesn't exist in their dictionary. Even if they inherit someone's property, there is very little chance they can invest it and get some profit, it is likely to be spent in a short duration. Deliberate or non-deliberate, they are financial abusers to their spouse. They will always be under huge debts all their life. They hide, manipulate, or lie about expenditures. They keep a lot of secrecy in their finances to avoid confrontation and unwanted discussions.

 8. Irresponsible parents: Such spouses make irresponsible parents. They would never care to check their children's school bag, not even the school diary. If another spouse is unwell or outside, they can forget serious and important things like picking the kids, giving lunch, filling a water bottle, combing their hair while sending them to school. They will eat kids' share of food if they are hungry and manipulate them in some way that they don't resist much, later on, they will misinform the other parents that kids were being fussy and all. They can forget to put on Woolens on kids in winters because they don't have the energy to find one. They can make them wear a wet pair of socks because they are too tired to find a dry one. They will think of a suitable lie for justifying themselves later on if caught. They can sleep peacefully with a baby crying by their side. Will prefer to sleep than to support the spouse in taking care of a sick baby. They hardly care about the health or wellbeing of their kids. They Will never spare time to talk to them. They can sleep all day without caring if kids have eaten or starving if the other spouse is not at home. Kids are the sole responsibility of other spouses in such households. And since the other spouse is always physically and mentally overstressed and frustrated, the negative effects are there in kids also. Tickets will be booked at the last moment, articles would be purchased in black and at the double triple rate.

 9. Unfaithful: If not on serious terms then at least they are flirtatious people disguised as fun-loving and jolly. They won't mind hurting their spouse's sentiments by openly flirting with other people of the opposite sex at a social gathering on the face of their spouse. They will shamelessly talk about their sexual fantasies for other people to their spouse. They lie about their whereabouts to avoid any unwanted discussions. 

10. Childlike: They will throw tantrums and will have unrealistic demands like a child. They want the biggest share in a cake. They want to be treated and cared for, by everyone be it their kids or a sick family member. They think they deserve to be treated special and get hurt very easily when not treated specially in every situation. 

If you or someone you know, needs to seriously think if they qualify for the above traits. A desire to be respected could be fulfilled, only if someone is delivering their duties with full dedication. Remember, laziness, carelessness, and dishonesty will lead you and your family only towards destruction.

Connect with me on Facebook for more such enlightening blogs on Dysfunctional Family elements https://www.facebook.com/Familydysfunctionandmentalhealth

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