21 Feb 2021

Forgiveness- What It Is, What It's Not!

Forgiving those who hurt you and having gratitude for those who love you are the two things that are must for healing and growing.

Where expressing gratitude and counting your blessings not only makes you humble and instantly lifts your mood but also gradually improves your mental health, on the other hand forgiving those who hurt you also has a healing effect on your mental health improvement journey.

According to sacred Indian texts, one must have a forgiving attitude towards everyone. Intellectuals everywhere and psychologists strongly believe argue that healing begins with first forgiving those who caused the hurt you are trying to heal from.

What forgiveness is not?

Some people, especially abuse victims get very offended and feel hurt and validated when they are initially suggested to forgive their abusers. This happens because of the wrong belief about what forgiveness is. Most people understand that forgiveness means to deny what they did to you, to deny what you feel about the abuse and the abuser, to deny or invalidate the pain and the damage they caused you on all levels and allow them or others like them to come back in your life and continue to treat you like that over and over again and you keep tolerating them.

Well, none of this is forgiveness.

What forgiveness is?

Forgiveness is to disconnect yourself from them emotionally after disconnecting physically. Not think about them or keep grudges or plan revenge or curse them. Because all of this will keep you connected to them via invisible chords. Healing requires you to separate yourself in all terms from the one who caused the damage you want to heal.

A survivor must focus on how bad the experience was, what damage was caused to them, how they felt, how helpless they were, how much their feelings and emotions are valid and true, how much they didn't deserve what happened to them and how they can move on towards the path of healing.

Why everyone deserves forgiveness?

People do bad things because of their condition and therefore they deserve forgiveness.

Scientific Reason:- People do bad things because of their personalities, belief systems, culture, and mental health conditions. Every child is innocent when is just born. However, every child is born with some genetic qualities which may or may not cause them to become bad people depending upon the conditions they will be raised in later on in life(and also during their stay in the womb). Whatever "nature and nurture" an infant gets, molds them into what we see as an adult. Scientists have found that people who lack empathy and sympathy don't have the same brain structure and functioning as people who have them which is due to life experiences and genetic factors. 

Spiritual Reason:-According to sacred Indian texts, every soul keeps taking rebirth in this world. Soul gets next life and consciousness as per the deeds he does throughout his life and therefore at the time of birth he is born with predecided fate(as per his good and bad actions of past life). Though will good deeds some alterations can be made, but still, a lot of pre-decided things do happen. Every soul is therefore called a "conditioned soul".So, we must forgive everyone because the law of karma is already taking care of everything and we are also suffering because of the law of karma acting on us. This is just what the scriptures say. This is not meant to hurt or invalidate the victims or survivors. If we see ourselves in a situation where we have hurt someone then maybe we can understand this law of karma more clearly and also why we should forgive everyone.

Connect with me on Facebook for more such blogs  and memes


17 Subtle Signs A Woman Is Romantically Interested In Your Partner.

8 Things Narcissists Do To Control Your Social Life.

 No, You Are Not Crazy! You Are Being Gaslighted.

14 Reasons Why Women Don't "Just Leave" Abusive relationships?

14 Signs Your Partner Is Controlling.

17 Signs Of A Controlling Manipulative Friend?

Why Does He Do That? What’s wrong with abusive men?

Do this to control your anger towards your kids.

Difference between Fear and Anxiety.

This Could Be The Reason Why Your Soul Is Exhausted.

Panic Attack: Simplified for the layman.

This is why people love your abuser while they hate you!

 32 Simple Reasons Why Someone is Not Texting You Back.

Holy Narcissists: 14 Reasons why narcissists hide in religious communities.

 Why Having A Baby Won't Fix Your Marriage.

20 Things Narcissists Say When They Are Gaslighting You.

 This will happen if you idealize your abusive parents.

What Is Love, and What Isn't?

 Trauma bonding : How your brain fools you into thinking that you are in love.

9 tips for surviving this valentine's without love from outside.

14 Ways to Find Out if Someone Has a Crush on You!

18 Things to do if you want to raise mentally and physically strong kids.

6 Tips for detoxing sibling bonds in dysfunctional families.

5 Things parents do to empower their daughters that actually harm them.

Shocking reasons why nobody respects you and 18 steps to fix it!

10 Steps to save your child from abuse at school. 

4 Tips For Protecting Your Child from Abuse at Day Care.

Forgiveness- What It Is, What It's Not!

16 Tips For Setting Boundaries with Adult Children.


Is ‎It ‎Better ‎To ‎Be ‎Single ‎Or ‎In ‎A ‎Relationship ‎With ‎A ‎Narcissist? ‏- ‏A ‎comparative ‎analysis ‎. ‏

20 Signs Someone Actually, Genuinely likes you.

13 Warning Signs of A Spiritual Narcissist and How To Deal With Them.

What Exactly is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

13 Warning Signs Your Husband is Abusive & Outright Dangerous.

Should you stay friends with an ex?

The Narcissistic Family Tree

This Is Why Some People Cannot Help Being Sad And Miserable : If You Had Controlling Parents

10 Signs You Have a Lousy Spouse!

16 Tips for Dealing with your Toxic Parents

Protecting Children From Sexual Abuse| When You Are A Stay At Home Parent.

How To NOT Preach A Family With Domestic Violence Issues ?| A Word For Preachers and Clergy Men!

Why Is Spirituality Important?

What does Depression Looks like?

18 Tips For Happy, Anxiety Free And Peaceful Life Amidst The Covid Crisis.

14 Keys for Narcissists to Change Toward the Higher Self

Why You Might Feel Like the Most Emotional And Sensitive Person 

When Mothers Day Hurts : Dysfunctional Families

10 Ways In Which A Narcissist Makes You Regret Having A Conversation With Them.

10 Reasons Why You Cannot Heal While Still Being With A Narcissist. 

Words Of Assurance For New Moms In Narcissistic Dysfunctional Nuclear Families.

Co-parenting With A Narcissist

Happiness Only Money Can Buy For Narc Abuse Victims

How to survive love bombing?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Featured Posts

Battles Within

In the depths of my heart, love once did reside, A love so profound, no boundary could hide. I forgave, I believed, in the name of our start...