Do you feel you are always exhausted? Do you feel helpless in getting rid of a never-ending race of doing and achieving things you are not even sure of, you want to do? Do you feel overwhelmed most of the time due to heavy emotions roiling inside you? Do you feel tired at the level of soul?
Well, if you can call yourself an "exhausted soul", then there is a very high chance that you are living a life that is being controlled by others.
When we are being controlled by someone in a relationship, then we are not allowed to set priorities in life and are bound to perform as per the wish of that controlling person. The situation is worse when this person is a parent (in childhood) or an intimate partner (in adulthood) because parents and intimate partners associate with us for a major part of our life.
When this controlling person is abusive, then the situation is worst as the victim(person being controlled and abused) is not allowed to:-
- Decide what they like or dislike.
- What they want or don't want to do something.
- Whether they should take rest or not?
- Whether they need to sleep or not?
- How should they treat someone?
In highly abusive cases, the abuse is not just on a physical and emotional but also on a spiritual level. In such cases, the victim is controlled about"-
- What should they think or not think?
- What should they feel or not feel?
- What should they believe about themselves?
- What should they believe about people?
- What should be their religious faith?
When someone spends years in such spiritually abusive relationships for years, they become "PEOPLE PLEASER" and this tendency to live life according to the wish of others gets so internalize that the victim gets habitual of a lifestyle that pleases others. There is a constant fear of displeasing people or making a bad impression. Such victims don't have any priorities in life and perform everything as per the perceived need of other people present physically or virtually by any other means. These people are highly dysfunctional. These people live in an ongoing sense of guilt over not being able to please and impress everyone perfectly while being overly occupied with work making them exhausted to soul level.
Cutting off from such abusive relationships and getting professional help is a must for recovery and, healing from such unhealthy toxic patterns of life. If it is not possible to cut off completely then the victim should start enforcing healthy boundaries and inculcate self-love in their life.
Please fill this survey form https://forms.gle/bvKFE4XpaHUy7HFu7 and help me write a self-help book for restoring spiritual/religious faith in Battered Women.