We all turn to friends we trust, in our good and bad times for suggestions and feedbacks. Also, we share our problems and frustrations of life with them. But among these friends, there can be "controlling manipulators" who might be taking advantage of your trust and controlling your life for their benefit. These control freaks are more interested in what they can achieve from the issues of your life rather than trying to help you to make your life better. You could be merely a peg in their game of chess and your life issues serve as a chessboard for them, even without you knowing any bit of this happening under your nose. Some controlling manipulatives can go to the extent of exhausting you physically and mentally and causing a huge disturbance in your life. Let us discuss some characteristics which can help you identify these predators.
Controlling Friends: This type of control freaks we encounter in an early stage of our life. A friend (or a best friend) could be the one, if shows the following characteristics: -
1. Having a lot of friends other than you but having control over who you associate with.
2. Wanting to know everything about your romantic life however keeping their affairs quite personal.
3. Expecting you to comply with their likes and dislikes and talking sarcastically when you do not and sometimes even get furious when you take a stand for yourself.
4. Expect you to be available for them twenty-four by seven however themselves having a routine of their choice.
5. Occasionally give incredibly special treatment to keep you attached to them.
6. Are very sympathetic when you are facing lows in life but not happy for you when you are having a great time away from them.
7. Are jealous of your achievements and are not able to appreciate and celebrate wholeheartedly.
8. Try to keep you behind them by subtle acts not just in various areas of life but also. For Example, while talking to people in a group they might stand right in front of you so that you are less visible and approachable as compared to them.
9. Feel unhealthy competition with you when it comes to relationships and friendships with people of the opposite sex. They may try to control how much you associate with people of the opposite sex, especially common friends, by mediating between you two.
10. Guilt trip you into doing their personal tasks, like homework, and other peroneal chores because you are their friend.
11. Intimidating you on achieving something big that they don't have or on acquiring a skill that they lag in.
12. Sharing or taking credits for your efforts in group activities without taking your concern.
13. Intimidating you for liking a person they don't get along well with.
14. They may occasionally spend money on you to keep in control and keep you obliged whereas some controlling friends manipulate you into spending on them. They will use finance to control you in some way or the other.
15. When angry, they blame you for treating them the way they are treating you. They project their feelings and behavior onto you when in bad mood.
16. Sometimes they take you to places or events just so that they are not alone, however, they do not treat you as an actual human association and are more interested in other people and you are just a mannequin hanging around them.
17. They make plans for you when doing things together or in groups. Your plans and ideas always sound boring stupid to them.
People fall for such friends when they have low self-esteem and are co-dependent. By taking care of our emotional health, we can unlearn these unhealthy patterns and identify such toxic controlling relationships and can have a better life.
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