18 Nov 2022

How Psychopaths Choose Their Victims AND HOW TO SAVE YOURSELF FROM THEM?

Ted Bundy, one of the most well-known female serial killers, claimed in one of the interviews that he could tell who would make a suitable victim by his method of approach.

Sociopaths or psychopaths are well-known individuals in our culture. These are the people suffering from Anti-Social Personality Disorder. They pick their victims depending on how easily they believe they can control them.

Do you know that not everyone is equally likely to become prey to such disordered people? Both psychopaths and their victims belong to a unique breed. Yes, that is true. People with greater psychopathy scores are more skilled at choosing victims. The weaker and more helpless members of society become the lambs, the targets of the wolves.

How do Psychopaths choose their Victims?

Psychopaths pick their victims depending on how easily they believe they can control them.

What was it about these people that gave off the impression that they were frail? An investigation revealed that psychopaths can interpret a range of nonverbal signs, such as the length of their steps, the way they shifted their posture, and the height at which they lifted their feet. Grayson and Stein (1981). Together, these indicators offered the psychopaths a rough idea of the level of personality their potential victims displayed. Lack of eye contact, fidgeting with the hands and feet, and avoiding making significant gestures when changing position are all examples of body language that conveys a lack of confidence, or being socially submissive.

Psychopaths enjoy encouraging traits in their prey that they can feed off, such as empathy, kindness, sincerity, warmth, etc., as well as some very particular flaws that they can later abuse, like self-doubt, innocent nature, naturally kind and generous nature, and excessively trusting and open nature. a tolerant nature, a tolerant nature, Lack of desire to "make a commotion" or stir things up, a lack of boundaries, a willingness to put up with unpleasant behavior, and so on.

Numerous factors might make someone vulnerable, including not receiving affection, encouragement, or affirmation from their family of origin; separation from family and friends, losing their job, being new to the area Desiring a relationship a strong desire to be noticed, approved of, or supported, unresolved victimization from the past, disease, ongoing stress, the passing of a loved one, a divorce, or a breakup, Boredom, the yearning for excitement increases when you're bored. Loneliness, if you're lonely, a psychopath may find a way into your life by taking advantage of your unmet social and emotional needs. 

Once they have found a potential victim, the psychopath starts the process of charming them, winning them over, and then playing the perfect partner to provide the impression of an intimate or perfectly matched relationship.

To make the victim dependent on them and undermine their self-esteem, the psychopath uses intermittent and inconsistent rewards.

The psychopath eventually loses interest and abandons the victim, moving on to someone else and frequently flaunting the new person in the victim's face to rub it in. The victim, who believed they had a genuine relationship with this person, is left with a lot of emotional wounds by the psychopath, who observed the entire process with a cool, amused detachment.

Most of the time, victims don’t even know that they’re victims until the perpetrator has already done using them.

How to save yourself from Psychopaths?

Fortunately, we can take steps to lessen our vulnerability as victims to them. Confidence that is expressed, for instance, through body language, voice, and affective expression, offers some safety. By increasing eye contact, reducing the use of smaller hand and foot movements, and increasing major body movements or changes in postural alignment, people might consciously project dominance in order to minimize perceived vulnerability. It is also said that one's likelihood of being victimized or bullied is reduced by conscious control of changes in affective expression, particularly victimized through regulation of fear, surprise, and humiliation as well as the rate, tone, and fluency of speech.

Even in circumstances where they feel safe, it is advised that people maintain the general projection of confidence via dominant body language. Potential offenders can interpret alterations in body language as signs of vulnerability and take appropriate action.

Click on the following link to read Read:14 Reasons Why Women Fall and Stay in Toxic Relationships. 👇



403 Forbidden. (n.d.). https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/extreme-fear/201010/how-psychopaths-choose-their-victims

Birch, A. (2021, June 29). Traits of the Psychopath’s Victim. Psychopaths and Love. https://psychopathsandlove.com/traits-of-the-psychopaths-victim/

How Psychopaths Choose & Groom Their Victims. (2021, July 28). Psychopaths in Life. https://psychopathsinlife.com/how-psychopaths-choose-groom-their-victims/

Sinclair, G. (2019, November 28). How And Why Psychopaths Choose Their Victims. Awareness Act. https://awarenessact.com/how-and-why-psychopaths-choose-their-victims/

Studies show that psychopaths choose their victims according to the way they walk! (n.d.). Dazzling News. https://www.dazzling.news/a2608/studies-show-that-psychopaths-choose-their-victims-according-to-the-way-they-walk

Wellington, B. (2018, June 7). How do psychopaths “choose” their victims? - Bob Wellington. Medium. https://medium.com/@bobwellington101/how-do-psychopaths-choose-their-victims-b227d7b0ef14

1 Nov 2022

What is Purloin Gaslighting in Narcissistic abuse?

A narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a recurring pattern of grandiosity, thoughts of having unrestricted power or importance, and a desire for, admiration, attention, and recognition or special treatment. (Kacel et al., 2017). 

Gaslighting is a type of psychological deception that attempts to instill doubt in the mind of a target person or members of a target group by leading them to doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. (Petric, 2018)

Purloining means fraudulently taking something, often through a betrayal of trust. (“Purloin,” n.d.)

To fulfill this desire and to keep their ego intact they do Purloin Gaslighting. Purloin Gaslighting is a form of Gaslighting done by Narcissistic people in abusive relationships. 

Purloin Gaslighting has 4 forms:-
  1. Narcissists publically share the credit for the work/achievement that has been done/gained solely by their victims, and the narcissist has clearly no contribution to it. They do this, without the victim’s consent, either on the face of the victim or behind their back. This causes feelings of frustration and betrayal in the victim.
  2. Narcissists privately share the credit for the work/achievement that has been done/gained solely by their victims, and the narcissist has clearly no contribution to it. They do this on the face of the victim to make them feel crazy and frustrated.
  3. They publically take full credit for the work they did together as a team with their victim, again without their consent in public, either on the face of the victim or behind their back. This causes feelings of frustration and betrayal in the victim.
  4. They privately take full credit for the work they did together as a team with their victim, again without their consent in public, on the victim’s face to make them feel crazy and frustrated. 
Narcissists promote themselves (the admiration pathway) or degrade others (the rivalry pathway). (Grapsas et al., 2020)


  1. Grapsas, S., Brummelman, E., Back, M. D., & Denissen, J. A. (2020). The “Why” and “How” of Narcissism: A Process Model of Narcissistic Status Pursuit. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 15(1), 150-172. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691619873350

  2. Kacel, E. L., Ennis, N., & Pereira, D. B. (2017). Narcissistic Personality Disorder in Clinical Health Psychology Practice: Case Studies of Comorbid Psychological Distress and Life-Limiting Illness. Behavioral medicine (Washington, D.C.), 43(3), 156. https://doi.org/10.1080/08964289.2017.1301875

  3. Petric, D. (2018). Gaslighting and the knot theory of mind. Research Gate. https://doi.org/10.13140/RG.2.2.30838.86082

  4. purloin. (n.d.). In The Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary. Retrieved November 1, 2022, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/purloin

What is Gaslighting? Why do People Gaslight? What are the effects of Gaslighting on the Victim?

If you distrust yourself and doubt your memory and your ability to perceive reality correctly, every time you have a conversation with a particular person, you might be getting gaslighted by this person. Please read this blog till the end to understand what’s going on here.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse when a person or group of individuals makes another question their own sanity, memories, or perception of reality.

The term gaslighting comes from a 1938 play, “Gas Light”, and its subsequent film adaptation, in which the husband secretly makes changes around his wife and then blames her for either noticing the changes or making them.  

Narcissistic people gaslight their victims to label them as crazy, insane, and unstable, to keep them under perfect control, and isolate them from the rest of society to facilitate abuse and to protect themselves.

Common phrases of white lies used during gaslighting are “I didn't do that”,” it never happened”,” you did it”,” I was joking”,” you are making an issue out of nothing”,” you are overreacting”,” you are too sensitive”,” you have problems with everyone”,” you made me hurt you”,” you should seek help” and so on.

Gaslighting involves the following components:-

  1. Denying(of what they have done)

  2. Diverting(changing the topic to shift focus on the victim like blaming the victim’s mental illness for their own behavior or calling them too sensitive, too observant, unstable, crazy, and so on). It makes the victim feel weak and stupid in a conversation. So the victim starts to put efforts into proving themselves innocent and sane instead of talking about the original issue which was about the abuser.

  3. Selective Amnesia(forgetting selective things that they have done to others while clearly remembering things done by others and sometimes making up things that were actually never done or said by anyone.

  4. Acting Stupid/Dumb(like pretending to not understand what is hurtful about their behavior)

Sometimes flying monkeys recruited by a narcissistic abuser also gaslight knowingly or unknowingly.

Gaslighting can take place in Parent-child relationships, and intimate relationships, there is medical gaslighting, racial gaslighting, political gaslighting, spiritual gaslighting, and institutional gaslighting.

Why do people Gaslight?

Gaslighting is a very complex and insidious strategy used by narcissistic people to sow the seeds of doubt in the mind of the victim. A gaslighter deceives a group or individual by persuading them with a false narrative, which leads them to doubt their perceptions and become confused, disoriented, or disturbed.

Gaslighting isn’t always intentional. We have all probably gaslighted someone unintentionally at some point due to our ignorance or lack of understanding of a certain subject.

However, people with narcissistic tendencies or personality disorders like NPD, ASPD, or BPD intentionally gaslight others for power gain or as a survival mechanism socially learned from their own gaslighter parents or caregivers by suffering or witnessing while growing up.

The purpose of intentional gaslighting is to undermine resistance, destroy optimism, project an air of innocence, and create chaos and confusion in the mind of the "gaslight-tee." 

Narcissistic people gaslight to keep the people around them aligned with their false sense of reality, save their fragile egos, and cope with the anxiety of facing their own ugliness.

What are the effects of Gaslighting on the victim?

The term “Gaslighting” was previously described as  “to manipulate someone so extremely as to create mental disease or to justify the commitment of the gaslighted person to a psychiatric facility” but is now used more generically. 

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, gaslighting is currently defined as the psychological manipulation when a person's "perception of reality" is called into question, creating "dependence on the offender."

Effects of gaslighting are only viable when the audience is weak, such as in situations of uneven power or afraid of the losses involved in confronting the false narrative.

The gaslighted person becomes anxious, confused, and doubtful of themselves.

Persistent gaslighting that is done on purpose can severely damage the self-esteem and mental well-being of the gaslighted victim.

Gaslighting causes chronic stress and severe mental distress. Victims’ sense of identity, personality, and self-confidence gradually erode due to the relentless bombardment of verbal (and occasionally physical) assaults, which also slowly chip away at their sanity.

It is easy to gaslight those who have a mental health condition that lowers their defenses, such as a history of abuse or trauma, low self-esteem, or despair. This is why gaslighting in an abusive relationship is dangerous.

If you or someone you know is facing gaslighting, please seek professional help and create boundaries with the gaslighter. Avoid people, places, situations, and mental processes that make you feel gaslighted.

Have a great day!


  1. 403 Forbidden. (n.d.). Retrieved November 1, 2022, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/gaslighting

  2. DoctorRamani. (2019, April 22). What’s Gaslighting? (Individual, tribe, and societal gaslighting) - Dr. Ramani Durvasula [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTS5XsZe9Jg

  3. DoctorRamani. (2020, April 3). What is “gaslighting”? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships) [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVBdWSPXyRw

  4. DoctorRamani. (2021, May 16). This is something you probably didn’t know was gaslighting. . . [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLsH2NJD1Vo

  5. MedCircle. (2020, June 16). How to Spot the Hidden Signs Someone Is Gaslighting [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FISZshe9L3s

  6. psycom.net. (n.d.). Retrieved November 1, 2022, from https://www.psycom.net/gaslighting-what-is-it

  7. Rivera, D. (2020, October 28). The Psychology of Gaslighting: Here’s What You Need to Know. Archive. https://blog.darlingmagazine.org/the-psychology-of-gaslighting-heres-what-you-need-to-know/

  8. Walker, P. (2013). Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A Guide and Map for Recovering from Childhood Trauma (1st ed). CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.

  9. What Is Gaslighting and Why Is It so Dangerous? (2017, October 16). HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-is-gaslighting-and-why-is-it-so-dangerous_b_59e43a1ae4b02e99c58357f0

  10. Wikipedia contributors. (2022, October 31). Gaslighting. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

10 Oct 2022

13 Signs you are trauma bonded!

Symptoms of trauma bonding with your partner or parents include:

  1. You are more afraid of being alone than you are of your abuser.
  2. The idea of leaving them makes you feel upset.
  3. No matter how much they mistreat you, you can't stand to see them fall in love with someone else (romantic relationships).
  4. You worry that you will perish without them.
  5. They have total influence over your life.
  6. You wouldn't advise your friend to continue in a situation like that.
  7. When they conduct small acts of compassion, you second-guess your belief that they are an abuser and feel bad.
  8. You get the impression that they have finally transformed during their occasional displays of goodwill.
  9. They make you feel guilty and miserable by being kind to you and pressuring you to stay and promise to change everytime you finally gather the strength to leave.
  10. Abuse and love are in a continual cycle that alternates.
  11. You experience them as the centre of your world.
  12. There are times when you hate them and wonder why you want to stay with them.
  13. You go to great efforts to make them happy and feel unique in the hopes that they would reciprocate your love and refrain from mistreating you.

Note:-This information contained in this blog isintended for information only and should not be substituted for professional healp.

30 Sept 2022

Father Joseph Maskell : A Narcissist, a Sociopath or a Psychopath?

Who was father  Maskell?

Anthony Joseph Maskell was a previous chaplain at Archbishop Keough High School in Baltimore, Maryland who also served as chaplain for the Maryland State Police, the Baltimore County Police Department (BCPD), the Maryland National Guard, and the Air National Guard where he was a lieutenant colonel and several other schools during his career.

He has been accused of sexual abuse against female students at Keough High School and also forced an altar boy at St. Clement Church, Charles Franz, to drink wine and sexually abused him. Approximately 30 people claimed that Maskell sexually abused them.

One of the main victims of sexual abuse Jean Hargadon Wehner allegedly told Catherine Cesnik, a well-liked nun among the kids, about the abuse around the conclusion of the school year in 1969. On November 7, 1969, Cesnik vanished, and her body wasn't found until January 3, 1970. 20-year-old Joyce Malecki also vanished in a similar area four days after she vanished. "You see what happens when you say horrible things about people", Maskell allegedly told Wehner as he led her to Cesnik's decaying remains in a forested area not long after Cesnik vanished.

What are personality disorders and which one did he have?

As we got to know via the famous seven-episode Netflix documentary series "The Keepers" Maskell led such a prestigious life while committing heinous crimes alongside because of complicit people, who ignored the abuse and kept putting Maskell in positions of authority. 

Maskell can be called a Monster in layman's language. To be more specific about his personality type, in my opinion, he definitely suffered from some serious personality disorder that enabled him to perform horrendous acts behind closed doors and a charming persona. As he had a very soothing and charismatic guise as reported not just by regular people but also by his victims, he has to be somewhere in the cluster-b spectrum of personality disorders. Personality disorders may result in recurring, chronic, and detrimental thought, emotion, and behavior patterns just like Maskell had. 

Let's take a look at personality disorders first.

Cluster A, cluster B, and cluster C are the three primary clusters of personality disorders. Cluster B has four personality disorders, including: 

  1. Antisocial personality disorder(ASPD)
  2. Borderline personality disorder(BPD)
  3. Histrionic personality disorder(HPD)
  4. Narcissistic personality disorder(NPD)

Nobody is ever formally diagnosed as a sociopath or a psychopath; instead, an antisocial personality disorder is a diagnosis given to people who are sociopathic and psychopathic. So, we will discuss the NPD and ASPD traits here and will analyze the personality of Father Maskel on the basis of information shared in the documentary, to match with them to see where he fits in the spectrum.

Narcissistic personality disorder

This personality condition makes its sufferers feel superior to other people. These signs include:

  • Strong disapproval of critique
  • Heightened sense of self-importance 
  • Obsession with grandiose achievement ideals
  • Too dependent on praise
  • Feeling overly entitled
  • People who suffer from this disease frequently display a lack of empathy and may take advantage of close relationships to enhance their self-image.
From the statements of victims in the documentary, we got to know that he had all of these characteristics.

Antisocial personality disorder

People who suffer from antisocial personality disorder frequently disregard and violate the rights of others. For personal advantage, deceit and manipulation are used. To obtain these benefits for themselves, they could be rude to other people, tell lies, or commit fraud. They can also be more inclined to commit theft. They typically don't feel bad about what they did, though. Those who suffer from antisocial personality disorder are also more likely to develop a drug or alcohol addiction

A pervasive pattern of disdain for other people's rights that has existed at least since puberty is one of the signs of antisocial personality disorder. It manifests as actions like:

  • Disregard for laws and social norms
  • Absence of regret or guilt
  • Lying repeatedly
  • Impulsivity and carelessness
  • Aggressiveness
  • Disregard for other people's safety
From the statements of victims in the documentary, we got to know that he had all of these characteristics, So there is a high possibility that he had ASPD

The term "sociopath" is sometimes used to emphasize the antisocial, rule-breaking aspects of antisocial personality disorder, while the term "psychopath" is sometimes used to convey the internal experience of lack of remorse—pleasure in "getting over on" or inflicting pain upon someone—and other emotional deficits. Also according to Clinical Psychologist Dr. Ramani, Sociopaths are made by socio-environmental factors whereas Psychopaths are born.

Sociopathic Traits

Now, under ASPD, let's see how sociopathic people are:

People who are categorized as sociopaths under the ASPD  are characterized by attributes like:-

  • Make it clear that they don't care how other people feel.
  • Act irrationally and impulsively.
  • Prone to fury and anger outbursts.
  • Recognize what they're doing, but excuse themselves for it.
  • Cannot continue to lead a typical life of work and family.
  • Can develop emotional bonds, although it's challenging.
From the statements of victims in the documentary, we got to know that he had all of these characteristics except for the last two points.  He had a wonderful career and social image. Though he had good professional relationships and confided in his brother who was in law enforcement, this relationship was not on an emotional basis but rather on a very material level. A consistent child abuser cannot have any way of loving someone. So I believe he was not a complete sociopath.

Psychopathic Traits

People who are categorized as psychopaths under the ASPD  are characterized by attributes like:-

  • Act concerned.
  • Show cold-hearted actions. 
  • Fail to understand the suffering of others.
  • Have superficial and phony connections.
  • Live a normal life while hiding their unlawful activity.
  • Fail to develop real emotional connections.
  • Have unique ways of loving people.

From the statements of victims and other information shared in the documentary, we got to know that he had all of these characteristics except the last one because a consistent child abuser cannot have any way of loving someone.

Also, Sociopaths are considered to have a weak conscience, whereas psychopaths can lack conscience altogether. In my opinion, there has to be a complete absence of conscience and empathy to repeatedly hurt innocent kids just for pleasure or to commit cold-blooded murders.


Hence from the above discussion, we may conclude that he probably had ASPD along with narcissistic traits like an outer charm, grandiosity, entitlement, and lack of empathy. He can be said as more of a psychopath than a sociopath because he shows almost all of the traits of psychopathy whereas lacks a lot of traits of sociopathy. So he was a psychopath with narcissism either in the form of NPD or just traits. I believe it was in the form of NPD, as it is said that malignant narcissists have narcissism in the form of personality disorder and some overlapping traits with ASPD.

Note:- This qualitative analytical study on Maskell is purely based on the information shared by the 7-episode Netflix documentary "The Keepers which was released in 2017.

Watch the video on this analysis on my youtube channel. Please subscribe and hit the bell notification to receive the update of new video when I publish it online.



Bhambhani, Lavina & Prakash, Shakti & Tripathi, Mahesh. (2021). Psychopathy and Sociopathy: A    Modern Understanding of Antisocial Personality Disorder (Review of Literature). 

Hollman, L., PhD. (2021, April 5). Narcissist vs. Sociopath vs. Psychopath: What’s the Difference? Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Retrieved September 29, 2022, from https://lauriehollmanphd.com/2020/05/18/narcissist-vs-sociopath-vs-psychopath-whats-the-difference/#:%7E:text=The%20main%20difference%20between%20the%20narcissist%20and%20the,maltreatment%20is%20verbal%20not%20physically%20aggressive%20or%20violent.evy, J. C. (2017, August 28). What Is a Sociopath? Key Traits, Causes & Current Treatments. Dr. Axe. Retrieved September 29, 2022, from https://draxe.com/health/what-is-a-sociopath/

Meadows-Fernandez, R. A. (2018, February 28). What Are Cluster B Personality Disorders? Healthline. Retrieved September 29, 2022, from https://www.healthline.com/health/cluster-b-personality-disorders

Netflix Netherlands – Watch TV Programmes Online, Watch Films Online. (n.d.). Retrieved September 29, 2022, from https://www.netflix.com

Sociopath vs. Psychopath: Characteristics and Differences. (2022, August 29). Verywell Health. Retrieved September 29, 2022, from https://www.verywellhealth.com/sociopath-vs-psychopath-characteristics-and-differences-5193369#:%7E:text=Conscience%20A%20key%20difference%20between%20people%20considered%20sociopaths,a%20weak%20conscience%2C%20psychopaths%20can%20lack%20conscience%20altogether.

undefined [MedCircle]. (2018, June 26). Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath: How to Spot the Differences [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved September 29, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dv8zJiggBs

undefined [MedCircle]. (2019, May 5). Relationships, Narcissists, Psychopaths, & Sociopaths 101 [Video]. YouTube. Retrieved September 29, 2022, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qPuyX1TQKo

Viruet, P. (2017, May 25). Netflix’s Latest True Crime Docuseries Will Haunt You Forever. Retrieved September 29, 2022, from https://www.vice.com/en/article/8x4pqp/netflixs-latest-true-crime-docuseries-will-haunt-you-forever

Wikipedia contributors. (2022, August 26). Joseph Maskell. Wikipedia. Retrieved September 29, 2022, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Maskell

William E Lorri. (n.d.). “The Keepers” fact check. In www.archbalt.org. Archbishop of Baltimore. https://www.archbalt.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/AoB-FactCheck-infographic-11.pdf

22 Sept 2022

What is anger?


What is anger:-

Anger is a significant and fundamental human emotion that we all occasionally feel. Basically, fear, greed, and desire are the root causes of anger.

  • Anger is a natural reaction to threats to our safety and wellbeing, both actual and perceived.
  • Anger develops when a person tries to hide other emotions, such as fear, from themselves.
  • When our expectations are not met, we become angry, which is once more a form of lust or threat.

Science of anger:- 

Anger makes people ready to fight because it is linked to the sympathetic nervous system's "fight, flight, or freeze" response. However, striking is not always a part of the fighting.

The amygdala in our brains sounds the alarm whenever we perceive a threat to our safety (physical, emotional, social, financial, etc.) or wellbeing. This surge of testosterone and adrenaline, two vital hormones that prime our bodies for physical aggression, occurs as a result. In addition to the amygdala, the prefrontal cortex is also stimulated by the anger trigger. This part of the brain regulates reasoning and judgment, keeping us from reacting irrationally to a situation.

When this area is triggered in reaction to a perceived threat, catecholamine neurotransmitters epinephrine and norepinephrine, also referred to as adrenaline and noradrenaline, are stimulated to release.

These hormones prepare  our body to act by:

  • Increasing respiration, blood pressure, and heart rate.
  • Clenching muscles
  • Body temperature rising
  • Increasing the flow of blood to certain body parts, such as the face, arms, legs, hands, and feet (making them appear red).
  • Focusing on the issue that led to the outburst of rage.

Is anger good or bad or both?

Scriptures and science have both occasionally revealed that controlling our anger in a healthy way is beneficial to us. If we can't control our anger response, the issue is unlikely to become better over time. When we sit down and discuss what or who instigated our rage, anger is acting in the proper manner. Studies show that managing our anger in a healthy way has advantages. Holding onto anger, however, is known to have a harmful effect on some individuals and may even lead to despair. Chronic fury that persists over time might lead to high blood pressure in the long run and possibly heart disease.

Of course, harboring resentment too frequently or easily might eventually harm both your physical and mental health. The immune system's ability to operate as well as the neurons in the regions of the brain that regulate judgment and short-term memory can be harmed by anger's protracted release of stress chemicals.

Why do people get angry?

Anger and personality traits may be related. Additionally, the following attitudes and behaviors can lead to anger:-

  • The belief that one's privileges and rights surpass those of others is known as entitlement.
  • Paying attention to outside circumstances (such as a partner's behavior).
  • External emotion regulation, which entails seeking to control emotions by managing one's surroundings;
  • Spherical effect outside oneself (believing well-being is controlled by sources outside of oneself)
  • Failure to explore alternative opinions (viewing different perspectives as threats)
  • Limited capacity for discomfort
  • An intolerance for ambiguity
  • Excessive focus on fault
  • A flimsy ego

How to deal with anger?

Lord Krishna urges Arjuna to suppress his anger at the very beginning of the Gita and describes someone who has done so as "a sage of stable mind."

Understanding and controlling this strong feeling can help someone grow and transform as well as prevent them from committing many aparadhas. if one regularly loses control of their fury or only occasionally does.

    To effectively control rage, take the following actions:-

  1. The right amount of sleep can stop uncalled-for angry outbursts. Adults need to sleep for at least seven hours every night, according to researchers. A person who has had trouble sleeping in the past will require more sleep to make up for it. Because of the many interruptions to their sleep at night brought on by frequent urination, GERD, OSA, RLS, other physical discomforts, changing diapers, and nursing infants, respectively, pregnant women and lactating moms may occasionally require more sleep than usual.
  2. Think of further interpretations: Consider the supporting evidence for your enraging interpretation. Think about diverse viewpoints.
  3. When an episode of fury starts, you breathe deeply, slowly, and with your diaphragm rather than your chest.
  4. Recognize that it's okay to be angry: You should be upset if you've been wronged, treated unfairly, or provoked. However, instead of acting aggressively, you should express your anger assertively.
  5. Relaxation methods like mindfulness, deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation, as well as lifestyle adjustments like healthier eating and sleeping patterns, reduce your amygdala's reaction to triggering.
  6. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help your prefrontal brain exercise its role in emotional regulation.
  7. Some persons who have diabetes may also struggle with rage issues. You may maintain stable blood sugar levels and maintain your composure by adhering to your diabetes treatment plan, which includes measuring your blood sugar levels, taking your medication, eating healthily, and exercising.
  8. Anger might also result from being irritable or exhausted. As a result, it's important to eat well and get enough rest to keep going.
  9. Mindfulness, spirituality, movement, chant, transcendence, progressive relaxation, loving-kindness, and imagery are all types of meditation.

Role of Mantra-Meditation in Anger management:- 

              Mantra meditation is one of the best meditation techniques for managing anger. Japa and Kirtan are the available kinds. Japa is a type of private meditation when you sit in a quiet place and calmly chant a mantra. Kirtan, on the other hand, is a form of group meditation in which people sing and perform musical instruments.

              Along with the mantra's right frequency for each person, the incorporation of faith in this meditation technique can have magical effects on the practitioner. The route to happiness, self-realization, and enlightenment can be successfully completed through mantra meditation, along with the attainment of a disease-free body, a tranquil mind, clear and coherent thinking, and an improvement in intelligence quotient.

              Mantras are powerful, but in order to reap their full rewards, one must recite them consistently and in their whole. When uttered from the heart, mantras drive away negative energy while bringing positive energy into the body and mind.

              Mantro Hinah swarato varnato va mithya prayukto na tamarthamah.

              Sa Vagvajro yajmanam hinasti yathendrashatruh swaratoparadhat.

              The meaning: The mantra without proper pronunciation of vowels and consonants that is the utterance of a mantra in a  faulty manner makes it faulty and does not convey the intended meaning.  Instead, it gets converted into a  verbal thunderbolt and may harm the one chanting it.

              As in the aforementioned verse, we can see that in order to properly use a mantra and receive the benefits that it is intended to provide for us, we must not do so carelessly or take them for granted.

              You may decide when and where to channel your tension and when and where to let it go with the help of a regular mantra meditation regimen.

              During this meditation exercise of consciousness, results are attained automatically rather than by mind control or other mental ploys. The deepest level of the inner Self outside of the mind is reached through meditation practice.

              Have an anger-free, happy and great day ahead!



              Psychology Today. (n.d.). Psychology Today Staff. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anger

              Bertone, H. C. J. (2019, October 2). Which Type of Meditation Is Right for Me? Healthline. Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/types-of-meditation#What-meditation-is-all-about

              Bhagavad-gītā As It Is. (n.d.). Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://vedabase.io/en/library/bg/

              Capobianco, A. (2018, August 14). Five Benefits of Mantra Meditation. Sacred Arts Research Foundation. Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://www.sacredartsresearch.org/blog/2018/8/13/the-benefits-of-mantra-meditation

              Crider, C. (2020, May 28). Is Excessive Sleeping During Pregnancy a Problem? Healthline. Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/excessive-sleeping-during-pregnancy#definition

              Diabetic Rage: Can Diabetes Cause Aggressive Behavior? | HealthyPlace. (2022, January 4). Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://www.healthyplace.com/diabetes/mental-health/diabetic-rage-can-diabetes-cause-aggressive-behavior

              Evans, C. (2019, June 7). The science of anger. How It Works. Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://www.howitworksdaily.com/the-science-of-anger/

              Evans, C. (2019, June 7). Inside your brain. How It Works. https://www.howitworksdaily.com/the-science-of-anger/

              Gayatri, P. (2021, January 10). Anger Management. ISKCON Seshadripuram Bengaluru - Sri Jagannath Mandir. Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://www.iskconbangalore.co.in/anger-management/

              iskcon@dwarka. (2021, February 20). How Meditation Helps Manage Anger? Iskcon Dwarka. Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://iskcondwarka.org/blogs/how-meditation-helps-manage-anger/

              Olsan, E. J. (2021, May 15). How many hours of sleep are enough for good health? Mayoclinic.org. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/expert-answers/how-many-hours-of-sleep-are-enough/faq-20057898

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              Pandya, R. M. (2022, September 21). THE LEGEND OF ASHWATHAMA. Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://pandyamasters.blogspot.com/2012/03/legend-of-ashwathama.html

              Penedo, F. J., Antoni, M. H., & Schneiderman, N. (2008, March). Anger Management / Mantra Meditation. Cognitive-Behavioral Stress Management for Prostate Cancer Recovery: Workbook, 99–114. https://doi.org/10.1093/med:psych/9780195336986.003.0008

              The science of anger. (n.d.). Anger Treatments. http://www.angertreatments.com/the-science-of-anger/

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              Sharma, H. (2015, July 1). Meditation: Process and effects Sharma H - Ayu. Retrieved September 21, 2022, from https://www.ayujournal.org/text.asp?2015/36/3/233/182756

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              18 Sept 2022

              Visualisation Excercises for enhancing Optimism and overcoming fears.

              The word ‘optimism’ is derived from the Latin word ‘optimum,’ which means ‘the best.’

              Optimism is a personality type that exhibits resilience and inner strength. An excellent method for firmly implanting an optimistic mindset in your brain is visualisation.

              Individuals who have optimistic outlooks tend to live longer and recover more quickly from health setbacks. Only a little portion of a person's optimism is inherited. The environment and an individual's efforts shape the rest. 

              There are 2 visualization exercises that can be used to enhance optimism and reduce fears:-

              1.    Visualizing a Positive Outcome:-

              A 10 minute visualisation excercise can help increase optimism. Here is what to do in that excercise:-

              Imagine yourself in the most optimistic future you can imagine. Pick a certain future date, for example 5 or 10 years from now. In this imagine future, you've accomplished all the objectives you set for yourself, reached the pinnacle of your ideal profession, met your true love and soul mate, are in excellent physical condition, have reliable friends, you have become self-actualised etc. Imagine these thngs in as much detail as you can to make the scene vivid and realistic. . Clearly imagine what such a future will look like to you and what your feeling would be be when you achieve them. Focus on your location, the other people around youHow would you spend your time? 

              Think of oneself as competent, confident, and successful. Feel yourself in this future scenario as if you were present. In this visualisation, pretend that everything is going perfectly smoothly.

              You can have a diary where you can write these thoughts, scenarios and feelings, once a week, for six to eight minutes, for one or two months.

              Everyone struggles with it, and at first it could feel a little awkward. But with with regular practise, it will begin to feel more natural.

              Numerous studies reveal that visualising your perfect future might actually increase your levels of optimism, despite the fact that it may seem like wishful thinking.

              2.    Visualizing Your Fears Away

              Sit on a comfortable seat with your hands in your lap. Close your eyes and take slow, deep breaths from your lower abdomen. Use your nose to take in air, and your mouth to exhale it. Your exhalation should last longer than your inhalation. Spend 3 to 4 minutes doing this. Imagine yourself now breathing out  a green cloud of good energy that is directly in front of you. For a few breaths, continue doing this.

              Consider one of your irrational concerns or negative ideas that you wish to get rid of. Now visualize this fear as a yellow ball that is in front of you. As you breathe out breathe this positive green cloud over the negative yellow ball. Imagine this yellow ball getting smaller and smaller with each breath, then watch it move away from you. "I surrender this belief," tell yourself aloud. I agree that it is finished. I feel at peace.. Ultimately this yellow ball will eventually disappear.

              Take a few more breaths, then repeat the process, blowing the positive green cloud onto the yellow negative fear or belief. Next, choose another negative thought or the same one. Visualize a yellow ball that is dwindling in size and moving away from you. "I surrender this belief," say aloud to yourself. I agree that it is finished. I feel peaceful.

              For about 10 minutes, perform this exercise over and over again. It is possible to resove 3–4 difficulties in a single sitting. Now take afew mre long, deep breaths for a few minutes.

              At the end of the session you will see yourself as a self-assured and confident person. Think of yourself as someone who is free from these limiting thoughts and anxieties. Once you've finished visualizing then slowly open your eyes and get reacquainted back into your surroundings Stretch your arms out wide and raise your head high. Accept the confidence you now possess!


              Best Possible Self: Visualization Exercise (Worksheet). (n.d.). Therapist Aid. Retrieved October 10, 2022, from https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/best-possible-self

              Chowdhury, R. B. M. A. (2022, September 12). 11 Optimism Exercises & Theories (Incl. Learned Optimism). PositivePsychology.com. Retrieved October 10, 2022, from https://positivepsychology.com/optimism-tools-exercises-examples/

              Dholakia, U. (2016, August 14). A Simple Exercise to Boost Optimism (And Improve Health). Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-science-behind-behavior/201608/simple-exercise-boost-optimism-and-improve-health

              Imagine Your Best Possible Self Practice and Exercise. (n.d.). Retrieved October 10, 2022, from https://www.centreforoptimism.com/Your-Best-Possible-Self

              Visualizations. (2020, April 3). Optimistic Brain. Retrieved October 10, 2022, from https://optimisticbrain.com/stuff-to-read/visualizing/